Monday, March 30, 2009

Ahhhhhh!

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you!!!

That's all

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Gotta get this off my chest

Here are some words of advice if you want to get along with me...

"I don't care how much you know, until I know how much you care."

This statement pretty much sums me up. I really don't give a rip about what you think about me or what you think is wrong with me unless I know you care. Don't waste your or my time telling me what I am doing wrong or trying to change me unless your sure that I know you care about me.

Pretty much I've heard about these 5 languages of love and have found them to be true for all people. They are the ways that people could either give or receive love.

1. Physical Touch
2. Quality Time
3. Words of affirmation
4. Gifts
5. Acts of service

I understand and value each of these, but there is one that really means a lot to me and without it, the others mean nothing to me. That one would be QUALITY TIME. I will know that someone really cares about me if they just spend some time with me. Just talk to me. On the flip side of that, if someone doesn't do these things then everything else means nothing. If you tell me you love me, but don't spend any time with me, then your words are just empty.

The people I am closest to and love with all of my heart are the people who I know care about me because they spend time with me. For example, I really really REALLY cherish any time I get to spend with April because when I do get that opportunity... I don't know. I just love any time I get to just talk to her. Anytime I have come home and she sees me, she will ask me how my day was. Just check in with me and talk to me. I never had that growing up, so even when I don't say much, she still talks with me. Now I look forward to the times when I walk in the door and she is there, because I know she is going to ask me about my day. This little tiny thing tells me that April loves me, when I am sure she thinks nothing of it because its just natural for her.

I had meltdown this week. I got really pissed off because there are a lot of people who I used to be close with, but I never talk to them now. People I see all the time, but never REALLY TALK to. I understand people are busy and stuff, but I just wish people would understand that a relationship can be anything you want it to be. IF you don't invest in it, it will fade and if you do then it will blossom. I don't get how people can never spend time with me and then expect for us to be best friends...?


OUCH!!! Conviction is starting!

So even right now, as I am writing this I fee like a JERK! I am such a hypocrite! Yeah my feelings are valid, but what I don't like to be don't to me, I do to someone every single day!!! WOW! I haven't been spending time with my Jesus like I used to... God is showing me something RIGHT NOW! How can I expect to have relationship with God if I don't spend time with Him!? No doubt my feelings are kinda hurt, but I cant imagine how I have made God feel by ignoring him and just worrying about my own self-absorbed issues. I need to get over myself, Forgive those who have hurt me, and go repent for my sin. WOW!

Now I'm off to go spend time with my Jesus!

-Corine

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I heart April

She's my favorite!!! I flippin adore her!

=]

Good day!

Monday, March 16, 2009

FIRSTS

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? Nathan

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? haha who would that be?

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? Hmm... cinnimon snops in 7th grade

4. What was your FIRST job? Pizza Hut

5. What was your FIRST car? 1987 Chrysler Fifth Avenue

6. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. Cox

7. What was your FIRST adult job? C.A.R.E.S.

8. What town did you FIRST live in when you moved away from your parent's for the first time? Brentwood

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Las Vegas with my parents

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk to them? best friend eh? Probably Chris and no.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Cait Hudson

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? Hannah

13. The first wedding were you in the FIRST time? My cousin's wedding

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? check my phone

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Blink 182

16. FIRST tattoo? Never had one

17. FIRST piercing? ears

18. FIRST foreign country you've been to? Mexico

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? I dont flippin know

20. When was your FIRST detention? wow... idk

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in? California

22. Who was your FIRST roommate? none

23. If you had one wish what would it be? ehhh... world peace. lol

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance? idk...

Saturday, March 14, 2009

HMMMM...

So I have a lot on my mind...

I am dreading the days that are to come, but I am trying to enjoy each day while it lasts. Its hard for me not to just dwell on whats coming up because all I want to feel is depressed and sorry for myself. This is a whole thing I don't wanna get into right now because I don't even want to think about it...

I feel so stupid sometimes. I have such a paralyzing fear of rejection that I cant just be myself and say whats on my mind... but there's a catch. The people that I trust and love more than anyone, I cant be myself around. I am just so scared of what would ever happen if I get rejected by them. Its weird.. Like there are some people that I am close with that I could come up to anytime and give a hug, but the people that I favor, I never would be able to do that. Its stupid, but I cant even start or finish a conversation. It just like "yeah... uh huh... yup..." When really I have a million things running though my mind to say, but dont wanna risk rejection.

Then there are other people that know me better than anyone, but thats cuz I dont give a rip what they thing about me. its crazy. I dont know how to fix it... Its just a God thing I guess.

I've been kinda lost lately. Not so much doing things I know I shouldn't do, but not doing things I know I should be doing. I've pretty much been a slacker and it is really taking a toll on me. People are starting to see it too, so I need to step up my game.

Despite all of the drama at work, things are looking up. I have loved coaching softball, but I am glad it is finally over. We went undefeated into the championship and lost to a team that didn't deserve to win, but hey, I know we played fair and we did our best. We didn't cheat, so I'm happy with how my team has done. They have come such a long way from day one.

I get my class back on Monday!!! I love having them back because then I can really focus on building relationships with my kids and I am also really glad that I get to keep a lot of my softball kids that I adore! Its gonna be great!

I love God with all of my heart, but I think I need a little help living our His love everyday. Ive been kinda failing at it lately and it shows. It really scares me but Ilve always known it: I am always just one choice away from turning away from God. It just takes one choice, one time, and its back to square one. I know its not worth it, but its always there. Either I am for God, or I am against Him. I hope I can just make him proud.